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Love is desire for the beautiful

December 10, 2009 9:18 am by Blaise Alleyne — —

This may be over the top, but it’s the kind of crazy I’m feeling right now.

This is as close to pregnant as I’ll ever get.

I am teeming with desire, overflowing with a yearning to release this energy, to create something beautiful. So overwhelmingly fertile, I strive for that moment of giving birth in beauty. Overcome by the potential for real unity, I move forward with purpose and resolve, with being and intention, in search of the complete, of an expression of a truly generative love.

This is creativity. This is sex. This is beauty.

More to come…

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My Encomium For Brother Domenic

November 17, 2009 2:51 am by Blaise Alleyne — —

On November 14th, 2009, I was invited to give a speech at a tribute to Brother Domenic, principal of De La Salle College “Oaklands” from 1996 to 2009. I graduated from De La Salle in 2005.

In March of 2004, sitting in English class, Mr. Hunt told us that we were all schizophrenic. We were schizophrenic for “attending a school run by a man from another century,” and putting on our uniforms, and combating this “tidal wave of junk,” and then going out and living in it. “It’s one thing to be stuck in this hurricane,” he said, “but it’s even worse to be a schizo stuck in this hurricane!”

From Mr. Hunt, being a “man from another century” is a profound compliment of the highest order. I’ve been fortunate enough to know this man from another century for the past eight years of our century — and, unlike Alessia, only four years as a student, and the other four as an alumnus who hangs around the school a bit too much. Since graduating, I’ve attended — among other things — every Christmas and Founder’s Day mass that I could. Only a direct conflict would stop me; if my exams were in the afternoon, I’d be here in the morning.

One of the main benefits of being at the school assemblies has always been Brother Domenic’s speeches. I remember him stressing what it means to be a signum fidei at the opening assembly in 2001, when I was in Grade 9. I remember a speech railing against the phrase, “that’s nice,” as a focus on mediocrity. I remember him stressing that, at De La Salle, we are not taught to be great, but to be good — not in terms of being mediocre, but in terms of being centred on Christ. The most memorable of all, however, were the words of wisdom Brother offered us during a time of great mourning, at Ian Lawson Van Toch’s Mass of the Resurrection. Brother Domenic said,

The way we measure success as human beings is terribly flawed. I am increasingly of the view personally that we have it terribly wrong. It is not the length of days or the accomplishments or the conquests, or health or the career, which makes us most human and therefore like God in whose image we are created. It is our capacity to love and be loved by others.

Success is our capacity to love and be loved by others.

And love? The Pastoral Constitution on the Church in the Modern World, Gaudium Et Spes (“Joy and Hope”), explains love in the following way:

(24) God, Who has fatherly concern for everyone, has willed that all men should constitute one family and treat one another in a spirit of brotherhood…

For this reason, love for God and neighbour is the first and greatest commandment. Sacred Scripture, however, teaches us that the love of God cannot be separated from love of neighbour…

Indeed, the Lord Jesus, when He prayed to the Father, “that all may be one. . . as we are one” (John 17:21-22) opened up vistas closed to human reason, for He implied a certain likeness between the union of the divine Persons, and the unity of God’s sons in truth and charity. This likeness reveals that man, who is the only creature on earth which God willed for itself, cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of himself.

In other words, man cannot truly be successful except through a sincere gift of self.

Love is a self-giving — to love is to serve — and to be truly successful is to love and to be loved.

Brother Domenic, it’s clear by your abundant service and gift of self to the school community, and by the community of people assembled here today who love you, that you have truly been successful.

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Information Serendipity In Different Mediums

November 11, 2009 9:50 am by Blaise Alleyne — —

I’ve been meaning to comment on Mathew Ingram’s defence of newspapers and serendipity. Clay Shirky has been talking about the bundling that occurs in newspapers as a mere accident of print, something that was only necessary given the constraints of paper, but doesn’t make sense otherwise. Mathew disagrees:

Is there a purpose in aggregating the horoscope and the weather and the news about the coup in Tegucigalpa? I think there is, and I think newspapers do a pretty good job of it.

It’s not just because they have to — although that’s part of it. Maybe I’ve just been trained as a newspaper reader for my whole life, but I like the serendipity of tripping over fascinating articles about things I would never have known even existed were it not for a newspaper. To take the Saturday Globe and Mail as an example, I read about an up-and-coming Muslim hockey player, a profile of Paul Shaffer, a review of the punk band Gossip, an article about contentious city council politics in Aurora and a great feature on retirees and their vanishing pensions.

Just two days before Mathew’s post, my friend Emilie and I were having the same conversation. She reads the newspaper daily and made the same defence. I used to read the paper regularly when I was commuting to school in Grade 9, but more recently, I’ve come to get my “news” through Gwibber and Google Reader. It’s not that Mathew or Emilie don’t use the web, but they both have found something valuable in newspapers that the web hasn’t been able to offer — information serendipity (by that, I mean serendipity with respect to encountering ideas). Mathew continues,

Could links to those stories show up in my RSS reader? Possibly – but I doubt it. The mix is just too eclectic. And I would never have sought out the article about the Muslim hockey player, because I don’t particularly care about hockey and therefore I would likely never have come across it. Would the retirement piece ever make it to Techmeme or some similar aggregator? I doubt it. But it was still worth reading. And so were the half-dozen or so articles I can’t recall right now, which I tripped across as I read the paper. I would never have deliberately sought them out either.

I think Mathew’s missing one of the most serendipitous aspects of the web — the social aspect. I wouldn’t likely stumble upon those sorts of articles through my RSS subscriptions (though I’m subscribed to some pretty eclectic stuff), but through Google Reader shared items (e.g. Turadg Aleahmad shares some really interesting things, like this Wikipedia article on Mamihlapinatapai). I stumbled across Valaam chant through a friend’s Facebook posted items the other day, a genre of music that’s entirely new to me and will likely influence my own music. I find interesting links through Twitter/Identi.ca every week that are outside my regular areas of interest (e.g. this video riding blog from Sunday). I may follow someone who shares some interests in common with me, but that doesn’t mean their other interests are my usual fare. Information serendipity here is social.

Then, beyond the social, Mike Masnick was writing about serendipity of search a few weeks before Mathew’s post:

There’s a separate side of having search so ingrained in our lives that isn’t often explored: the serendipity of search… I do a countless number of searches during the day — it’s ingrained to quickly and automatically jump to the search box all through the day — and usually two or three times per day, I end up going down a fascinating, if unexpected path to learning something new and interesting. Usually, it’s related to what I was originally searching for, but leads me on a trail of additional information, well beyond what I expected to learn. Other times, it may be a total tangent, but still one that ends up being useful and relevant in odd and unexpected ways.

A couple days after Mike’s post, I was watching Margaret Visser’s The Geometry of Love with the RCIA group at the Newman Centre. She makes a passing comment in the video about the serendipity of browsing through the stacks at Robarts Library — yet another type of information serendipity.

Beyond information serendipity, there’s a likelihood of social serendipity (in encountering people rather than ideas) that exists in a communications medium like the web that you wouldn’t find in a newspaper. On any medium, it’s not so much a question of whether there’s an element of serendipity as it’s a question of what that serendipity is like.

Information serendipity on the web is different than in newspapers. There’s information serendipity in bundling, in proximity, in linking, in social connections, and then there are other types of serendipity altogether, like social serendipity. I think it’d be really interesting to dig deeper and explore the differences…

Information Serendipity in Wikipedia

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Against the Test Drive Approach to Spousal Love

November 10, 2009 9:23 am by Blaise Alleyne — —

Jessica Valenti, author of The Purity Myth, wrote about why everyone should have premarital sex on Feministing yesterday.

Let’s face it – if you’re going to commit yourself to someone for (presumably) the rest of your life, it’s probably best if you know that you’re sexually compatible. I don’t think this is particularly radical thing to say; in fact, it seems quite logical to me. But somehow, if you suggest that pre-marital sex is a good and maybe even necessary thing (especially if you say those things while being a feminist) you are an evil, evil whoremaker.

Do I think that people can have perfectly wonderful satisfying relationships without having had sex before making a commitment? Sure, I’m positive that happens often. But considering what a huge role sexuality plays in our lives and relationships…well, I’d rather be super duper positive.

What a tragically narrow vision of sexuality! Sexuality is reduced to an action. It’s not just Valenti. Films become rated R: “contains sexuality.” The example that will always stick out in my mind is Nick Carter asking in Backstreet’s Back, “am I sexual?” (Yes, Nick, you are a sexual being.) As wonderful as sex (the act) is, sex (-uality) is so much more than that. It’s especially ironic considering Valenti is trying to reclaim a more nuanced vision of sexuality from “the virgin/whore binary,” yet her nuanced vision remains so narrow. Sexuality isn’t just having sex. It’s about being created male and female, about our entire being, not just our genitals.

More importantly, I’ve become increasingly skeptical of the “test-drive” approach to love. Yes, of course you want to get to know your partner before you make a longterm commitment, but suggesting that means you ought to take their body for a test drive is a bad, bad way to approach that commitment.

It sets up the spousal model all wrong.

I’ve come to refer to this as the “pleasure and duty” ethic. If people consent mutually to the use of their bodies for pleasure, what’s the problem? Look at the model: Pleasure is the end goal, and consenting to the “use” of your body parts is the means of attaining it. Fluffy feelings of bonding might be a nice side-effect. Orgasm is the intent. The other person becomes a means of achieving your orgasm, and you become a means of theirs. This is objectification by definition, even if it’s mutual and consenting. On top that, pleasure is the metric of success. That is, a successful sex act is one that brings about pleasure. The act of sex becomes, at least in part, an economic transaction where you trade access to your body in exchange for pleasure. And that’s not always going to be a fair trade — and you may evaluate the quality and the fairness of the deal. After all, we test drive cars. And we also sell and replace them when they no longer serve their purpose.

I have a crazy idea: What if the goal of sex is self-giving rather than pleasure? What if the idea was to come into ultimate union with another human being, and the means of attaining that was complete and total self-giving and affirmation of the other as other? I have a feeling that the pleasure factors in as a side-effect, without “driving” the entire experience.

I don’t feel the need to take my future spouse for a test drive. I’m not marrying a car.

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Our new puppy: Irie

July 5, 2009 8:26 am by Blaise Alleyne — —

On Friday, my family brought a new puppy home (our dog, Sydney, passed away in the fall). I uploaded some photos and video clips yesterday (warning: extremely cute).



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UofT Graduation Photos

June 19, 2009 6:43 am by Blaise Alleyne — —

Yesterday, I graduated from the University of Toronto, officially completing my Bachelors in Science. I took a computer science major, and English and philosophy minors. My family was on hand and they took a lot of great photos, so I thought I’d share them here.

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Engaged

March 15, 2009 1:48 pm by Blaise Alleyne — —

The chamber strings pops concert was an amazing success. During my set, I played a new song I wrote for Heather as a surprise and proposed to her during the bridge.

This…
HHCS Pops Concert Blaise

plus this…
The Ring

equals engaged:
Engaged

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Singers, Songs and Strings

March 6, 2009 9:00 am by Blaise Alleyne — —

Hart House Chamber Strings Pops Concert Poster

If I’ve been MIA over the past month, it’s because of a huge concert I have coming up next weekend. I play double bass with the Hart House Chamber Strings (HHCS) and for the past three years, we’ve done a pops concert in March with independent songwriters. The concert was started by Paul McCulloch, who was conductor when I was in first year. I played bass for the concert and talked to Paul afterwards about performing as a “guest” artist, so at the next concert in March 2007, I wrote out arrangements for my band (which, I think, may have recently slid from “coma” into “permanent vegetative state”) and we had the privilege of performing with the ensemble.

Last year, Paul left the group and I took over the pops concert. I was cautious about writing arrangements for songs I wasn’t terribly familiar with, so I only took on three artists — Robyn Dell’Unto, Jadea Kelly and myself. (I was playing violin with both Jadea and Robyn, so I was pretty familiar with their music.) We filled out the rest of the night with music from popular films. Like previous years, it was a lot of fun and a great success.

We have seven artists on the bill for next Saturday, March 14th — Mandippal (@mandippal), Dave Borins (@daveborins), Lucky Fonz III (all the way from the Netherlands, in town for Canadian Music Week), Robyn Dell’Unto, Pat Robitaille (@patrobitaille) and Peter Katz and myself. I play violin with Mandippal, Dave and Robyn regularly and am excited to write for them, and I’m thrilled to be working with Peter, Pat and Lucky Fonz. As always, I’m honoured to have the chamber strings play my arrangements, especially for my own songs. I’ll be on bass with the ensemble for all of the other artists.

So, if you’re in the Toronto area, this is going down Saturday, March 14th at 7pm in the Hart House Great Hall (Facebook event). Admission is free, and I promise it’ll be epic.

If you’re not in Toronto (or if you can’t make it), I’m hoping to get the video camera out… so, with any luck, I’ll have something to upload afterwards.

I promise to come back to life March 15th.

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The Last Family Ski Vacation

January 12, 2009 6:54 am by Blaise Alleyne — —

My mom loves to ski. My parents used to joke that it was part of their marriage contract that my dad would ski and my mom would golf (not that my dad was ever much of a golfer for the first 26 years of the marriage, I think he was just looking for a sport he thought he could learn so he could have a “his side” of the bargain).

My mom always dreamed skiing would be a family activity, and for a while it was. When I was about six, I remember my mom and my uncle took me to Glen Eden, a small ski resort near where we used to live. The following year, 1994, we bought a condo in Ellicottville, New York, across the road from Holiday Valley ski resort. We’d spend 2-3 weekends a month there during the winter and about a weekend a month in other seasons (they had a swimming pool and a golf course, which my dad did use a handful of times). As Caleigh, my younger sister, and Jared, my younger brother, became older, they too learned to ski at Holiday Valley. In 1997, I travelled with my mom to Silver Star (interior BC), and in 1999, with my mom and my uncle to Whistler. In 2001, my family spent a week outside Salt Lake City skiing at Deer Lake, Park City and Canyons. But Holiday Valley was always “home.”

In April 2003, we sold the place. We had moved to Toronto the previous summer and it had become hard to find time to get there. In some ways, that was my fault. Instead of leaving Friday evenings, I wanted to spend Friday nights with my girlfriend and Saturday mornings with my band, and Sunday nights became vital for an increased homework load at a private high school. Moving to Toronto also added half an hour to the drive in either direction. There were other factors, I’m sure. Having a real estate investment south of the border was increasingly worrying for my parents post-9/11 as border security (and security theatre) increased and the Iraq war was imminent, and the money was needed to put my siblings and I through high school and university. For a variety of reasons, that era was over.

There’s more to skiing as a family than just sport, though exercising and staying healthy is certainly a part of it. Skiing as a family means working as a team. It’s about helping each other out as we improve our skills and navigate the mountains. It’s about getting a chance to talk over hot chocolate during a break, or in front of the fireplace at the end of the day. It’s about retreat from the stresses and distractions of daily life (to a condo instead of a cottage). Beyond our immediate family, we were host to many other families and friends over the years, sharing and introducing many people to the experience and our love of the sport and the place. For us, Ellicottville was a place where we could get away and a place where we could grow.

Skiing as a family continued. We travelled to Jay Peak (Vermont) that winter and continue to ski in Ellicottville at least once a year as renters. In 2006, we skied Whiteface (Lake Placid) and I (somehow) convinced Heather, my girlfriend, to join us. The last time she had been skiing was 2003, in Ellicottville, and she ended up with a mild concussion (after she was “too cool” for the helmet I offered her and she hit her head on a patch of ice). We made a day trip to Ellicottville in preparation and she took a lesson while we were in Lake Placid. By the end of the trip, she had fallen in love with skiing (which is better than the fall she had last time…) and she bought her own equipment later that winter. Just like with the many families and friends we’d brought to Ellicottville, the love had spread.

This Christmas break, my mom had planned a family ski vacation at Mount Tremblant. Heather wanted to come, but my sister didn’t. My parents tried to convince her to come, but she brought up the fact that I’d been able to skip out on a couple family vacations in the past. As we were loading up the van, my dad’s skis were removed. He never skied much, but he’d usually do at least a day or two. This time, he’d sit it out on account of his workload and health reasons (he still came — pretty sweet to have someone preparing dinner while you’re on the hills!). My brother slept through the first day and wimped out pretty early on the second. He came out with us, but after a fall on one of the first runs, started to complain, “I’m only doing this for you, mom.” He went in early and didn’t come out the next day. And who am I to criticize my siblings; it was when I was Jared’s age that I no longer had time for Ellicottville, and it was by my example that Caleigh exempted herself from the family vacation.

My mom had always hoped for a European family ski trip, and she saw a lot of the smaller trips as working up to that. On the drive to Mount Tremblant, she realized that would never happen. I doubt her mind was changed through the week. It seems the whole family skiing thing has ended, not with a bang, but a whimper.

It’s only recently that I’ve realized how things are constantly changing so gradually, yet so permanently. I mean, that truth is obvious, but to really internalize it and be conscious of it — not just to know, but to understand, feel and experience — is a whole new level of recognition. I’ve long since been hyper-conscious of that reality on a social (peer) level, but I guess family has always seemed relatively permanent and stable (I’ve been lucky — not many deaths, no divorce). Change comes quickly; it seems almost exponential now. (For example, in the last few years my dad has been developing a real passion for golf.)

I’m thankful that my mom shared her love of skiing with us, and with my friends and with Heather. I have no plans to stop skiing, and I’m sure I’ll keep skiing with Heather and with my mom in the future. And here’s a promise: one day, I’ll do that European ski trip with my mom.

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Use LastGraph to Explore your Last.fm Listening History

December 22, 2008 9:38 am by Blaise Alleyne — —

I was introduced to LastGraph recently, a Last.fm application that lets you explore your listening history. The coolest feature is the LastGraph poster, which provides you with a visualization of your listening habits over a given time span. Here’s a poster detailing my listening habits over the last year. Very strange, if I say so myself. (Thanks Nathan for introducing me!)

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This work by Blaise Alleyne is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 2.5 Canada.